The Woman of the House ........

I've never quite seen myself as any of the stereotypical monikers like 'her indoors' or 'the woman of the house'.

Nor do I see myself as the 'housewife' or the 'home carer' - although the latter does kind of come close; and I'm happy to allow that particular moniker to apply if it means a lowly Tax Credit from our self-monikered 'family friendly' Government. Harumph.....

Although the 'stay-at-home-mum' is my moniker of choice, I'm not quite sure that I completely see myself as that either.

I'd like to think that these monikers do not define me you see, they are only components of the complete me. All except the first two, of course, I was never either of them!

Actually I've not had cause to pay any real attention to any of the above until this week...

This week being the one filled with dusty air and dust-sheeted stairs and with wiring, piping and noisy kango-hammering being the order of the day. For days. However you can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs, so I'm happy to let the continuing parade of hard-working tradesmen through my house to, well, crack on.

And crack on they did, in more ways than one! It was interesting the many different personalities, all tinged with good old fashioned - and tamed down - tradesmen humour!

There's always one that has an old fashioned view of women in the home though, isn't there? Well, one that should know better than to show it, that is!

Now I'm not thoughtlessly putting this nice and very polite man into this particular stereotypical slot. Oh no. He was quite capable of doing that all by himself. The first sign was me arriving home to the steamy sounds ... of a kettle on the boil (steady people, steady) and the strains of 'oh here's the woman of the house' floating at me down my very own staircase! With accompanying hints of 'I like mine with a little milk and two sugars please' - now remember this was the cup of coffee he was quite willing to make all by himself when I wasn't there! The big tell of course was his proud admission, within mere minutes of the above, that he 'comes home from the pub to his dinner on the table'.

Oh dear. I've lived with one of these men for many years, from birth actually, and thought - well hoped really - that they (the type, not the person) had disappeared from our evolutionary gene pool. Forever.

Clearly not!

While I was confident that I had his stereotypical slot completely on target, I wondered how he thought he had done with the one he had mapped out for me?

I mean, there was no apron permanently wrapped around my middle, there was no ribbon in my hair and no constant homely smells of lovely home-baking to float through the very dusty particles. Any time he popped his head into where I was, when I was at home that is, I was to be found ensconced on the sofa either reading my kindle or on my laptop, and with the TV on in the background. On one occasion - almost, but not quite, to my shame - I was even found asleep on the sofa! Actually, passed out through exhaustion after crawling, foetal style, into the corner of the sofa was a more apt description, if it would make any difference to Mr Neanderthal! Joking.... he's really a very nice man!

See, looks can be deceiving, He wasn't to know all the things I had done this week, things that wouldn't normally floor me yet did. Yes, a new hair-do was one of them but I've waited a very long time to be able to sit long enough to get one! There were physio trips too and parent visitations and school meetings and pick-ups to attend to also.

And I can only imagine the shock on his face when my husband, straight home from his working day, was dispatched by 'the woman of the house' to ask if he'd like more coffee.... and then deliver it him! All because I just couldn't bear to make another trip up those dust-sheeted stairs.....

He must have thought me the laziest woman alive.

And I must confess to a little 'stay-at-home-mum' guilt.

But everyone got fed and no-one has run out of washed and ironed clothes. Yet.....

And all will return to normal when I am fully recovered.

Or a lot sooner.

All that dust........!!



  1. I dream of being a housewife. I dream of only being responsible for running the household while someone else brings home the dosh. I'd have dinner on the table for him every night, clean clothes ironed and put away, his slippers warming by the fire - ok now I'm getting carried away. I also fancy a bit of daytime tv and reading romantic novels while waiting for my lasagne to cook. I'd be willing to give up on a lot of feminism for that husbandly income.

  2. Whereas I dream of getting enough support to be able to work and look after my kids. Certainly I would not like being treated as the 'woman of the house'. Not at all! Just wondering if you have your revenge plotted? xx

  3. @Midlife Singlemum: I know I'm very lucky. In some ways. I have found that when at home to run the household that it's not enough. I need more. I don't particularly like housework...who does?! I also find that that's not all you do. there's tons of running-around jobs to do that no-one els has the time today as they're 'working' ;-)

    @Looking for Blue Sky: You are at home like me.....yet you want to work outside the home, just like MSM above.

    It's interesting, the different view points isn't it?!

    No revenge... I just feigned busyness and eventually he made the tea for his workmates!


  4. My apologies to @OlderMum, I hit 'delete' instead of 'publish' on your comment! Here it is now:

    "Sometimes my other half treats me like the woman of the house which annoys me so much. He once said that he pays me 'a wage' to take care of the house and him etc FGS'kes which I guess he kind of does but it made me feel like a 1950's house wife! X "

    Now, that I too would be very annoyed at! Sometimes you'd love to swap places wouldn't you? That''ll show 'em all that we do! xx

  5. Hmmm, he may be a very nice man.... but his sexist comments did make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up a little bit! :)

  6. @Bright Side of Life: Yes, it did ruffle my feathers a bit too!! xx

  7. DH would have definitely killed me ( he is SAHD) if I had made any comments like your DH after I got back from work . :-)
    Honestly I think there are a whole host of double standards for women - no matter what they do ( ie if you are SAHM you didnt "work", if you worked outside the house you "got a break" from all the house stuff - so you better give your husband a break now )


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