What? I Need An Ambulance?!

 No way, I thought. Don't be ridiculous. Why on earth would I need one of those? Okay, I'm still in excruciating  pain and I can't walk anywhere. Well , I can stumble to the loo and back, but only with the help of a lot of moans and groans and a massive stream of heartfelt expletives. Until I return exhausted to collapse onto the sofa, that at this stage has the imprint of my whole body on it. Sure all I need is more opiates. Just give me more Lyrica. I mean that sorted out the pain in my lower back and in my ass after my second Doctor's visit, didn't it?

The doctor wasn't happy with that at all.  He was very unhappy with the fact that my left thigh had seized up and was causing severe pain. He was so unhappy in fact that he insisted on calling to my house to see for himself . 'Oh shit' I thought ( expletives when blogging under the influence of opiates and severe pain are entirely acceptable) 'I think I might be in real trouble here..... Oh crap'.

And I was. I put my best drug-induced arguments forward, to no avail. He didn't like that there was no reflex action from my left knee. I blocked out the words 'paralysis' and 'spreading' from my mind completely. I couldn't let them feature in any possible outcome. He did mention , umm.... 'toiletting' and how that could become a serious issue. To be honest it already kind of was. Don't tell anyone but for one extremely painful moment I thought to myself, as I was sitting there in the most unbecoming of positions: 'Gawd... Is this how Elvis Presley felt??!' But that was clearly the opiates speaking. Ahem....

And so it was that an ambulance was called to take me to St Vincent's Hospital for an 'URGENT ASSESSMENT AND MRI'. I had an MRI booked for next week in a very efficient private clinic but my Doctor wanted me to have one NOW. (Note, I was in no position to receive an MRI last week as I was in such pain)

It took 2 hours for the ambulance to arrive and for the lovely Paramedics to load me as gracefully as possible  into the ambulance. In front of all my neighbours of course, who were looking on and kindly wishing me well. How embarrassing!!

After a lovely chat with the nice Mr Paramedic (bloody opiates again!) we arrived at St Vincent's and were greeted by the welcoming nurse, not with the words 'hi there pet, how are you, you poor thing '. No, her welcoming words were 'MRI? You  won't be getting one of them, we don't do those at weekends,' ?????? 

What the hell......

I don't know why but I stayed there and after an hour I was examined by 2 doctors. They told me that as I already had an MRI booked for next week, there was nothing they could do. They could however help some more with the pain. So they increased my Lyrica- see?! and replaced my painkiller with a seriously strong opiate one! 'Yessss... for that alone it was worth it'! Oh, and they gave me a very handy pair of crutches too!

They also told me that even if I was an inpatient I'd be waiting 2 weeks for an MRI. I am apparently lucky  to only have to wait one week - in excruciating pain to most likely find out that one of my discs is lying on a nerve and that I may very well need an operation. 

If the HSE could organise for all scans to be available at weekends, like Euromedics do, then this dependence on painkillers and on being in unnecessary pain for an unnecessary extended period of time could be avoided.

And I wouldn't have to spend the whole week trying to keep the words 'paralysis' and 'spreading' out of my head.

Increased opiates or not I could also avoid a whole other week of not being able to have a shower and hobbling on crutches to and from the loo, with my massive stream of ever-growing and makey-up expletives!

For now all I can do is wallow in opiates.... and chocolate! And hope for the best.

Mr Leo Varadker, please excuse my humour - it is merely my way of coping with my pain and worry. You really have your work cut out for you, This should not be so , I should not have been sent home in this state. The necessary facilities should be available at weekends instead of me (and others) suffering unnecessary pain, possibly becoming dependent on opiates AND possibly having to face an operation.

And no doubt facing more medications while I wait for an available appointment if I do need an operation. This is my back, my spinal cord we're talking about here. This is also putting a strain on the cost of medications (it exceeds your imposed monthly limit so you're paying for it) and on GP surgeries and causing unsuccessful trips, by ambulance, to Accident and Emergency services across the country.

Please, please sort this out.

Disclaimer: this post is written under the influence of extreme pain. Any spellings, bad grammar and syntax are purely the cause of  said pain and opiates! On the plus side I only spent 4 hours in A & E, most likely as I arrived by ambulance. And the staff were lovely too. 


  1. Bless your heart! What a mess- I'm do sorry you're having to go through it. Had a back surgery myself. I hope and pray things are made right soon-

  2. Oh, I hope you get some relief soon!

  3. Very upset for you, and very angry too. For you and for all the other people who are being failed by incompetent politicians and every other self-serving official who blocks real change in the health service xx

  4. Hope you get sorted out real soon, sounds dreadful, although you painted a pretty picture of those meds you were prescribed!

  5. @Shelly: Thank you so much, I need all the good wishes :-)

    @Julie: Thank you :-)

    @Looking for Blue Sky: Very well said. I am so upset and angry too. For myself at the moment but once my extreme pain is dealt with I will fight for all.

    @mythoughtsonapage: It IS dreadful... I am in agony at times! I do hope you got a giggle out of my descriptions, after all....laughter IS the best medicine. But right now I need a LOT more than that!

    Thank you all so much for your comments and kind words. Thanks to all the commentators on twitter and facebook too, this has started quite the conversation. And so it should....

    xx Jazzy

  6. Oh I hope this heals soon! Crazy that we can only be ill under "office hours"...You're amazing blogging in the midst of it all!

  7. Oh m god you poor thing absolutely ridiculous that you are left in pain like this!! I hope you get sorted really soon xxx

  8. This is shocking. Shocking that an exercise class could have left you like this and that you have to wait so long for an MRI. Here they have an MRI team running 24 hours a day, you can be booked in at 2.30 am - it's the only way to keep up with the demand.
    Sending you lots of love and good vibes for a happy prognosis. xxxxxxxxx

  9. @mamacourage: That's the Irish Health Service all over I'm afraid..Mon-Fri 9-5 :-( I mean what I say in my Disclaimer.... written under the influence of Opiates! When they worked, they no longer are :-(

    @whereismymindgone: Thank you, so do I...... before I quite literally lose my mind.

    @Midlife Singlemum: Ireland Is like a bloody third world country with our health system... I am so annoyed and in pain :(

    Thanks for all your good wishes and comments both here and on facebook and twitter, it means a lot and really helps.

    xx Jazzy

  10. jazzy darling - how very very awful !!!!You poor thing .
    I think Looking for Blue Sky came to meet you

  11. Oh jeepers what a nightmare. Glad to know that of today's date you are having a better hospital experience. xx


Your comment is very much appreciated! x