I really don't want to be, I told them that. I dread it so much. I warned them that if I have to wait for two more sleeps to get the repeat procedure that I desperately need, then I could not and would not endure two more nights of this horrendous pain.
They changed my medications and yet here I am, same time, same place. Same struggling to wake though the mad dreams to face the actual reality. The same moans as I once more press the bell that brings the lovely nurse, to whom I apologise yet again, with her magic knock-me-out-pills rushing to my bedside.
The same moans and groans as I gobble down those pills and moan my way through the pain. I even struggle on crutches, moaning all the way to the bathroom, hoping that the movement will help.
I am vaguely aware of the stunning street light show of Dublin and Sandymount Beach that spreads out just beyond my window.
But I am way too moany to appreciate it.
As I moan I thank the lucky stars of the person who does not have to share a room with me and hope, for their sake, that a shared room does not become available. For they will never survive me.
I am way too moany on these horrible nights and I want them to end. I want it all to end. All this horrible pain.
And now all of a sudden it seems that I've just blogged my way right through my pain tonight and with the help of some magical Oxynorm, and your wonderful company, I very well might now sleep a while. To awake a few hours hence, in a far better frame of mind to appreciate the stunning views laid out before me.
One more sleep to the treatment that might bring some long term relief.
Same time, same place tomorrow then?
Bring some positivity, I sometimes misplace mine.
Many thanks, your company is always appreciated.
Opiate Disclaimer: this post is written under the influence of extreme pain. Any spelling errors, bad grammar and syntax are purely the cause of said pain and opiates!