Diary of a Jazzy Mum, eternally aged 33 3/4: Growing Older Indignantly

And I was never more indignant then when recently reading a favourite thriller author of mine - Camilla Lackberg. You see she described one of her characters as a 'mid-fifties grey haired woman'!

Really?? Mid-fifties?? And totally grey haired?? Really??

Talk about stereo-typing, Ms Lackberg! I'll have you know that I may only have a mere 3 years to reach that life stage but so far I have only a tiny grey patch. Well, maybe a couple of grey speckles too but we'll ignore them. So, you're saying that I'll suddenly turn completely grey in 3 years time then Ms Lackberg? Well if that does occur then rest assured, neither you nor the rest of the world will know a thing about it ;-)

Mind you , although I won't be rushing off to throw bowls on a lawn any time soon, I'll not be beyond availing of any midweek hotel offers for the 'active 55 plus' group. But you'll not know a thing about that either!

See, in my head I'm eternally the optimum age of 33 3/4. Been around long enough to know enough and with tons of youth and energy left to enjoy the rest. It's a good age to be.

Now, I know I am getting older, I can read the signs you know. The need for reading glasses for one. The jiggly bits that creep up on you, the bone-clicking and the various bodily bibs and bobs attempting their southwards migration. I can read the signs alright, I just choose to ignore them.

Not so my Teen Boy, who is seemingly on a mission to ensure that I cannot. For example his favourite pastime seems to be making me 'point' out my *coughs* ever-so-slight bingo arms!

I did however manage to enact some revenge on our recent heavenly getaway, much to his disgust/amusement/bewilderment - take your pick - with a spot of Underwater Twerking.  Apparently I did it perfectly .....  'but..... Muummm'!! 

I continue to enjoy my gym time, where I can beat those bingo wings to a pulp and although I'm not the oldest there I do get a great a great kick out of being the oldest and only one on the circuit from time to time who can put my hands flat on the floor when 'touching my toes' - while wearing wedged skechers tone-ups! I'm happy for anyone to think I'm showing-off when I hold the stretch way longer than anyone else too. See, they don't need to know that what I'm really doing is easing out the kinks in my lower back!

I love working out to the upbeat music in the gym. I have quite an eclectic music taste of both older and current performers. Granted there may be exclamations of  'Call that music?..... that's just screaming' from time time, but you should note that they come from my son, aged 13 3/4 upon hearing 'Ride on Time' by Black Box from 1989!!

Much to his embarrassment any up-tempo music from any era playing in the background of any shop, anywhere, is most likely to make me bop a-long as I shop-a-long to the rhythm. And you all know what can happen when they play '80s music in supermarkets!

Admittedly I have noticed a tendency to fall over lately (twice this week) but I reckon I've turned it into a beautifully choreographed art form. It is not everyone who can walk confidently along in one direction then suddenly, for no apparent reason, do an ever-so elegant somersault and land on their bum facing the complete opposite direction, you know. It is, I might add, best to perform this amazing feat when no-one else is around. Unfortunately I didn't quite manage that last night, resulting in a  bruised ego and a slightly swollen ankle today. But hey, I met a very kind and helpful  'new' neighbour that I wouldn't have otherwise met! Thank you kind, non-judgmental neighbour!

So I shall remain cocooned in my energetic little bubble, following my 'Age is But a Number' philosophy while I continue to grow older indignantly. 

With as much dignity as I can muster.

Supermarket Flash Dancing, Underwater Twerking and Midnight Somersaults aside.


                                          The End



  1. Aha, now I know why you have a twisted ankle! I think that our mindset will always be in our 30s, although sadly our bodies let us down... well, mine anyway as you look very fit and trim. As for putting your hands flat on the floor... wow, that's really good. Take it easy and I hope you don't have any more falls. xx

  2. @Bright Side of Life: Yup, now you know! It's a pity our bodies can't stay on our 30's along with our heads. I'm trying to get back to how trim I was earlier in the year....sigh! But now the gym is out. I'm left with some flexibility from my dancing years but clearly my balance is deserting me! Damn wedged Tone-Ups and boots.....

    Thanks for your comments :-)

    xx Jazzy

  3. You go girl! I work out at a university gym and take delight when I can outdo the late teens/ early twenty-somethings. But be careful with those falls- definitely no fun!

  4. I'm sure that tweaking underwater is the most dignified way to go :) Though I'm not sure I want to be dignified, it suggests that I will end up resembling an ocean liner: large, slow and mostly only of interest to old people! No thanks :) xx

  5. Age is indeed just a number, and I do think it depends on your mindset. One of the most glamorous and busy women I know is more than twice my age. I aspire to be like her! :)

  6. @Shelly: That part IS fun isn't it?!They are no fun at all.... mind you, I'm kind of enjoying this enforced 'rest' :-)

    @Looking for Blue Sky: Underwater Twerking is the ONLY way to go. Besides....pssst.... the water takes pressure off the joints;-) Maybe I should set up some Aqua-Twerking exercise classes??!
    No you will not, we will both be fabulous dahling.... fab-u-lous! (even if it's only in our heads!)

    @BavarianSojourn: Absolutely! I've always believed that. I aspire to be exactly like my now 71 year old aunt....

    Thank you all for your comments.

    And thanks for all the facebook/Google+ comments and shares...... they make my day!

    xx Jazzy


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