A Supermarket Flash Dance?

I have a bone to pick with the management of my local Superquinn store.

You see in anticipation of their re-launch as part of the SuperValu brand next February, they went and totally re-vamped their store.

The over haul is complete in it's comfort, spaciousness and display of their lovely produce; if a tad confusing for Dizzy Jazzy style shopping. Come on, you know that feeling don't you? You know, when you shop in a different supermarket than usual and you can't find anything?

Well, that's me -  strolling aimlessly through the aisles, lazily pushing my trolley as I comfortably hunt for my shopping requirements, while sub-consciously humming along to the piped/elevator style music.

And then it hits me.

The music.

They never re-vamped the music. It's still stuck on the same old '80's era tracks.

I mean, that's just not good enough.

Don't they know what could result when combining Desperate Housewife shopping with tunes from the '80's..... and wider shopping aisles?

Have they any idea of the thoughts that flood my brain?

It is simply too much to expect, when making the mind-numbingly boring best value-for-money comparisons between a market-fresh-low-cost bag of carrots or some loose ones of your choosing, that one should remain quietly sedate when they play the Flash Dance theme song in the background. It may be background music to them, but to me it's something else entirely! 

So there I am minding my own business, carelessly weighing up some carrots as they play one of my favourite dance songs, ever. Humming is abandoned as I 'sing' along: 'What a feelin'.... I got rhythm now' ..... and sashay off down the aisle . 

Only to turn the corner and almost bump into one of the managers ... who only does a double-take at the mad woman 'singing'.

I don't know what you're looking at mate. This is all your fault, you insist on playing this music and if you think this is mad then you should just see the visionary ideas sparking in my brain. In my world this trolley is not just a trolley you know.....

Not in the least perturbed by the bemused manager staring was I. And my 'singing' only increased in volume when they subsequently played the original version of 'Don't Stop Believin'....

Oh yeah, I'm really in my groove now. Especially when another mother passes by, glancing at the same shelf as I as she joins in. Is that a harmony I hear? Or perhaps one of us is out of tune? And it ain't me! Ahem...

Oh yes, I can just see it now - in Flash mob Dance mode we would  circle each other singing harmoniously, then push off on our respective trolleys, with right legs out in an arabesque!

Back in real time, emboldened by the unexpected and short-lived duet I sing louder again, only for another female shopper to give me a bewildered look.

'Oh.... bah- humbug' I think to myself as I sail on past the frozen produce..... and a young man who's singing almost as loudly as me!

Oh, this could definitely catch on! Yes, in Flash Dance mode he would grab my trolley, with me on board with right leg cutely flicked up behind as he whisks me around in a shopper's twirl...

It was when they played 'Footloose' that I realised I would have to take my leave forthwith. Things would only get out of hand. You see it's only been a mere 18 months since I'd choreographed that dance routine, for the second time, and I might remember the steps! Oh no, it's time to go. 

As I danced my trolley straight on over to the checkouts I wondered to myself : 'what if they play 'Holding Out for a Hero' next?' What then, I ask you? Would I be tempted to clear the conveyor belt, hop on board and 'sing' and dance with total abandonment? 

Definitely time to depart, while I still have some of my dignity intact.

Nothing good could ever come of these worrying, Desperate Housewife shopping thoughts...

I mean, singing and dancing in your local supermarket,.......

What next? A sing-a-long Flash Dance to your favourite '80's tunes?

Um.. Superquinn, if you're reading this..... don't change the music!

If you dare!



  1. Now that really did cheer me up - maybe they should hire you to choreograph a flash mob/dance to mark the changeover! And put a smile on the faces of all the shoppers :) xx

  2. @Looking for Blue Sky: Hahahaha..... Now that IS funny! Or maybe you're onto something there ;-)

    Thanks for your comment :-)

    xx Jazzy

  3. Hilarious. I'm all for squishing our fruits together.

  4. @Midlife Singlemum: It would be fun, wouldn't it? I'm thinking more on the lines of an '80's sing-a-long medley, with proper dance routine at some point! I don't see any videos like that on YouTube;-)

    Thanks for your comment :-)

    xx Jazzy

  5. Awesome post, Jazzy. I can just see you *doing your thing* and putting a smile on everyone's faces. I also know the words to all of those songs and I think that if I was there with you, I would probably join you!!! :-)

  6. Great a Flash mob in the supermarket- I would love it!! I have taken to putting in my MP3 player ( no fancy Ipod's here!) when I shop- however, you do have to concentrate hard not to shimmy down the isle or sing out loud- now I'm all for multi talking and all that but c'mon- I cannot concentrate on the food shop with Sugababes Push the Button screaming in my ears- so appologies to all in my local Morrisons :)

  7. ahhh that put a smile on my face
    For me it would be "Some boys kiss me .. some boys love me ... I think that's okay ..."

  8. Written as only a choreographer could! Can totally picture it. And I'm there with you - I love those songs too!

  9. @Bright Side of Life: Oh, next time you visit here I'll bring you 'grocery' shopping.... Jazzy style!!

    Thanks for your comment :-)

    xx Jazzy

  10. @mum in meltdown: Oh, we are so alike! Right, you're officially invited over to join me in a flash/mob dance!

    @Floortime Lite Mama: Oh yeah, I AM partial to a bit of Madonna ;-)She definitely belongs in the medley. I can see it now, add in some 'Vogue' and do the iconic moves. Excellent!!

    @Tanya Savko: Thanks, you're invited too!

    Thanks for all your comments, here and on facebook. I hope I haven't created a monster that sees you all singing and dancing in the aisles when you shop?

    Actually, that's a lie. I SO hope I've created an all-singing and all-dancing shopping monster!

    xx Jazzy


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