If you've been reading my blog a while you'll know that I'm a Dizzy Jazzy, who distractedly loses things like musical tickets and keys, private documents etc with alarming regularity.
I 'always forget to bring things' on trips too, as Teen Boy points out, also with alarming regularity. I'll never forget this embarrassing day last summer when I ran out of diesel, miles from home and had no money!
But as I always say 'if I didn't have to remember everyone else's stuff then I'd have less to forget.' I would also warn people - you know who you are - if you see me working, like ironing or cooking, never give me important stuff. Ever. You see I'm never just ironing or cooking. I'm usually doing both whilst also planning what I have to do next in my head. I will not remember what I've done with what you've given me.
This week I have managed to mislay a few items and I have no-one to blame but myself.
I mislaid my house keys yet again and a potato grow-bag, of all things, that was from a pack of two. The former is a normal occurrence, I have my Mia Tui bags to keep me organised when out and about but as yet my home, like my brain, has yet to be Mia Tui-ed. The keys turned up a day later as they usually do as did the grow-bag, which had seemingly vanished into thin air mere moments after being opened.
But the one thing that hasn't turned up yet, after 5 days of searching, are my reading glasses! Honestly, I had them one minute and then pooft, between the dining table downstairs and the bathroom upstairs, they disappeared - into the magic black hole where all my lost things are secreted away on me I reckon. I'm convinced this place exists somewhere in my house. No doubt it contains sets of keys, odd socks, odd earrings, maybe some money, show tickets etc and things I've even forgotten that I've lost!
One day I'll find this secret place.
But first I have to find my glasses.
I've desperately sought them here, I've desperately sought them there, I've desperately sought them
They are simply not to be found - anywhere!
I've searched under, behind and within all sofas and chairs and in all drawers, boxes and discarded bags.
I've looked in all pockets of all garments, hand-bags and car seats.
I've examined all presses and cabinets.
I've rummaged through the Green and Purple wheelie bins and the kitchen and bathroom bins.
And also, in complete desperation, I checked the fridge, the microwave, the oven and the hot press!
There is nowhere left for me to search.
Well, except the un-findable place where they are, obviously.
The infamous black hole? Or perhaps we have our very own naughty magpie? Of the feline variety?
I even prayed to Saints Anthony and Jude, promising all sorts that I have no chance of following through on. But even they didn't listen to me. I'm a complete lost cause and hopeless case, it would seem.
I then decided to invoke Sod's Law by buying a replacement pair, but that hasn't worked as of yet. It seems that Sod's Law comes at a price and will not be bought by a pair of cheap, over-the-counter pharmacy glasses.
I bet that the great and powerful Sod himself is up there, crossing his arms, tut-tutting at me and saying in a tantalising, annoying voice: 'You should have gone (back)
So, I am at a complete loss and don't know where to find them. I'm hoping if I leave them alone, they'll come home,
In the meantime though, have you any suggestions?
What's the weirdest place that you found something you've misplaced?
PS If you notice anything strange when commenting on my blog, like strange pop-ups etc, could you please let me know? Thank you :-)