Sunday, May 13, 2012
This week my boy treated me to a couple of his now legendary witticisms... Or should that be wiiboy-isims? He certainly has a history of making me laugh, that's for sure.
The first words of wisdom my boy imparted to me were delivered as we enjoyed a meal out. His words of wisdom are best served in public you see and in a very loud voice too. All the more to embarrass his mother.
While sipping my glass of wine I was given some helpful advice by my very sage 12 year old:
'Drink sensibly' says he, repeating oft heard advice from that very familiar TV ad......... 'Don't spill it' ... he then cleverly quipped!
My ensuing guffaws were his cue to continue this impromptu performance and he got braver with his next witty sharing.
Next up was the band 'One Direction' who have been renamed or re-branded even, by my verbally stimulated boy . Oh dear.... how do I say this and not get into a bind? Well , the word 'Direction' was changed to a very similar word that doesn't begin with 'Dir'. It begins with an 'e' followed swiftly by an r. And rises from there, so to speak!
And it didn't end there, oh no, before I could get my admonishment in he continued with ..... 'and it's One E**ction cos they're not manly enough.... They have to share'
I nearly spluttered my wine everywhere.... so much for not spilling it! Once I composed myself I stifled my threatening spluttered laughter, put a cross look on my face and issued him with a stern rebuke. End of impromptu performance.
Oh, dear Lord what am I to do with him? And you're not safe either, you'd better lock up your daughters. On other occasions he sidles up to me, leans lazily against any available wall or object, winks at me and says such things as 'hey, you and me girl...how about it?'
He is so funny though and it's a natural and sometimes very clever humour as he plays around with words. I just have to cull the inappropriateness.
My humour can be more by accident than anything else, especially when I facetweet while multi-tasking around the house. Housework can be so boring though. I have to somehow spruce it up and have some fun. Right?
Well, this week I did just that and Dizzy Jazzy here had one of her classic moments when a little, harmless facetweet went horribly wrong....
See, I had done some home cooking which is not like this suburban Desperate Housewife and I wanted to redeem myself. I went for clever-funny and my tweet, which was also shared on facebook, was supposed to say:
'Homemade chicken soup followed by homemade cookies..... who re-wired me while I slept?'
I pressed 'send' without double checking and went about my work. When I returned after some time I knew something had gone wrong by the tweets I got.
In my defence my dilapidated laptop cannot keep up with my tippy tappy fingers and some buttons don't always 'take'. It's not that I'm fast, my laptop is slow! Anyway this time my laptop left out one very important space. Never in the history of mankind has one 'space' meant so much to so many!!
My innocent tweet actually read as:
'Homemade chicken soup followed by homemade cookies..... whore-wired me while I slept?'
Oh.... my.....GOD!! Whore-wired??
I nearly had a heart attack!! All I could think was....DELETE...DELETE...DELETE...QUICK..
I was mortified! When will I ever learn?
But then I thought....it IS funny and we all need a good laugh, right?
Everyone seemed to get a giggle out of it and when I calmed down I couldn't stop laughing!!All day long whenever it popped into my head I just burst out laughing!
So I decided to turn my little Dizzy Jazzy moment into a positive one and am laying claim to my new phrase. I've no doubt it's already in use but I wouldn't know these things ;-)
But what's the definition of whore-wired? What does it mean to be whore-wired?
Is whore-wired an attitude, a sense of being as you confidently sashay about..... or is it a hooker cooker??!
I've no idea. I'll leave it up to you to decide whenever you feel the need to use this phrase.
When you do maybe you'll think of me. Or the next time you do some home cooking you can think of this post and have a giggle. You can also dress appropriately...or inappropriately...as you see fit!!
As for me, I'll be double checking my face tweets from now on, and my texts!
Bon Appetit !!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
I didn't know until last Tuesday, May 1st, that there was such a thing as World Asthma Day, or that in Ireland, one person a week dies from Asthma.
I didn't know until last year, at the ripe old age of 49, that I myself had Asthma.
Since last year I've learned quite a bit about the condition, most of the knowledge being gleaned in the last couple of months from the Asthma Society of Ireland website and their very helpful nurse on their very helpful helpline.
The first thing I was struck with upon receiving my Asthma diagnosis is how similar it felt to getting an Autism (ASD) one for my son all those years ago.
'It's not that bad... It's not real Asthma/Autism' It's like I have mild Asthma you see.... The Lite version, so to speak. If Asthma, like Autism, were a Spectrum then I, like my son, am at the high functioning end. No-one would know.
So long as you cod yourself with the above then you are not properly managing the condition, especially at the beginning. You see there are consultations, interventions and management plans to be tried, tested and put in place to set you on the right road to controlling your Asthma. Or so it seems.
But first you have to recognise the symptoms of Asthma. There are quite a few and just like Autism, it seems that more people's symptoms are being considered to be Asthmatic these days than would have been heretofore. In both cases, in my humble opinion, that is down to better diagnostics and a keener understanding of the symptoms and conditions.
I believe that I am a case in point. I have suffered from a chronic annual cough from the age of 13. It is a constant, relentless, hacking, barking cough that develops from a cold, hangs around for at least 6 weeks, wakes everyone in the house and the neighbours too, before finally hobbling off, bored, into the distance to gather strength for it's next attack! I've no doubt such a cough may have even been cited in some poor couple's divorce proceedings!
At no time through my teenage or young adult years was Asthma ever queried. Despite countless, pointless anti-biotics, a couple of chest X-rays and completely stumping my GPs. I knew they were completely stumped when I was treated to such classics like... 'just stop coughing'.. ie don't give in to the urge and it would go away and .....' I think we'll just have to put a stick of dynamite down you'! Seriously, that was said to me!As appealing as that actually sounded (I was that desperate at the time) it would have been much easier to have just given me an inhaler back then! Imagine the difference it might have made....
Although the causes of Asthma are largely unknown there are some known facts and it is believed that the causes are both hereditary and environmental just like Autism). There are also some known triggers such as allergens, dust, viruses, smoke and stress. It is to these triggers that I find myself now drawn in order to understand my Asthma. As the first two have been ruled out and as stress couldn't have been a factor at age 13, it is to viruses and smoke that I lean towards. Given that I lived in a house of smokers from birth and was a chronic passive smoker for many, many years it makes complete sense to me.
This belief sent me googling for articles about passive smoking and Asthma and I came across this one and this one .... oh, and this one too. It seems that we have learned a lot since I was 13 years old.
It is confirmed in most articles I've read and on ASI's website that research shows a link between parental smoking and Asthma.
ASI's site also informs us that 'poorly treated asthma worsens with age and the lungs of people with untreated asthma function less well than those of non-asthmatic individuals.' I would seem to be bearing that particular theory out at present! I've had very recent experience of a 'tight chest' and an inability to draw a full breath. That is a scary experience , for an adult. I can only imagine how it must be for a child or teenager.
Apart from raising Asthma awareness with this post I have two messages to impart to you...
- If you, your child or teenager have similar symptoms to mine then PLEASE discuss the possibility of Asthma with your GP and get a referral to a respiratory clinic.
- PLEASE do not smoke where there are children, inside or outside the house and in the car. Please protect their lungs and consider the lungs of others too. Do not wait for laws to be introduced.
I continue on my Asthma journey realising that the road to
So now, finally, I'm ready....
Hi, my name is Jazzy and I have Asthma.
Thanks for reading.
Note: Image credit: Bernenews.com
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Well, I did it. I promised myself a magnificent New York trip to celebrate this milestone birthday of mine and, thanks to a very good friend, I finally delivered. So if you've noticed I've been missing for a few days , this is where I've been hiding. In fabulous New York!
And it has been truly fabulous. From the very comfortable and pleasant Aer Lingus flight, where we were so well looked after and even the food tasted good, to the post holiday pre-boarding glass of wine and the special welcome home.
Our days were speckled with delights that tickled both our fancies... Shopping, sights a show and some laughs.
Although tired on arrival we still pounded the streets after checking in to the very centrally based and surprisingly roomy Hotel Edison. Okay, the bathrooms were small but adequate, and who needs to swing a cat anyway? It was perfectly sufficient and we were a stones throw from the very energetic and iconic Times Square. I could have happily sat there soaking up the atmosphere, hoardings and showbiz buzz all day long. Just me and George M. Cohen, Giving our Regards to Broadway....
However, there was so much more to do than sit around, people watching in this bustling metropolis that truly never ever sleeps!
Like I say, we pounded the streets that first day, getting our bearings and on the way finding Victoria's Secret and the Empire State Building! In our tired state we somehow missed nearby Macy's but it was a very good start indeed.
We did the touristy bits the next day via a Grayline bus tour, a handy and time saving way to do things I think. Highlight for me was St Paul's Chapel and the new Towers spiraling up from the ashes of Ground Zero. I found it quite emotional....
We finished that day with our discounted tickets for Priscilla Queen of the Desert. It was quite an outrageous but fun show, with fantastic Special Effects and costumes, which admittedly took until the 2nd Act to win me over, but win me over they did. Sadly we just missed being pulled up on stage by the cast. I could have then declared to the world that 'I danced on Broadway'! Actually our night didn't end there, it ended with some after show drinks in the Hotel piano bar. Expensive enough but a very pleasant end to our day.
The next day was designated shopping day and we took ourselves off to Jersey Gardens to shop 'til we dropped. Sigh. Not my favourite activity in the world. I want the goodies I just hate shopping for them! However, with plenty of breaks whenever I felt like it I managed very well indeed and it was a good day that ended with a visit to Langans Irish pub! We just went for a light dinner and a drink but, you see, the music was very good. So we stayed just a little longer than intended! Let's just say that we also bopped til we dropped that day! I blame Andy, the energetic musician with his foot drums... A real one man band!
The following day was do your own thing day and I, being done with the shopping element of this trip, chose some more sight seeing. So, off I went navigating NYC's subway system and Staten Island Ferry, on my own, to fulfil my long awaited date with the Statue of Liberty. We had a lovely morning, the Statue of Liberty, the city and I...
My powers of navigation didn't end there, oh no. I was on a mission you see and I figured out I could stop off at Penn Station in the way back so I could finally get to go up to the Empire State Building's observation deck. I missed out on this the last time I was here so, 20 odd years later and some the wiser, I finally made it and was treated to some stunning views....
In a fit of madness, probably fueled by the confidence inspired by my solo exploring morning, myself and my mutated shopping gene decided on a last minute foray through the madness of the very multi-floored Macy's, alone. That was the scariest thing I did that day... And I bought something too! I fought the madness of Macy's and won! To understand this momentous achievement you need to understand that I can usually only bear 15 minutes in the bi-floored TK Maxx!
That evening, our last, both solo explorers went for a bite to eat and a drink in Langan's again, where we swapped tales accompanied with some more music. A very relaxed and fun night to end our fabulous New York stay.
This is a trip whereby you push yourself to the limit to fit everything in. Plenty of time to sleep and rest when you come home is my attitude.... This is New York City!! Enjoy and make the most of it.
Therefore I arrived home very tired yet exhilarated from my exciting travels and was glad to be home, to see and be welcomed home by my very sleepy eyed boy.
The special welcome I mentioned? The first words out of his mouth?
Where's all the stuff..... Hahaha!!
Yeah... I love you too son!
Hope it's not another 20 years before I see you again!