That's the introductory line for Ireland's latest craze , Jedward. The be-quiffed duo that we have just unleashed on an unsuspecting Europe for Eurovision 2011. Let's just call it Pay-Back for Bail-Out... or Just Desserts :-) This introductory line is delivered at warp speed . Much faster than I can type, or any interpreter could possibly interpret. God help them is all I'll say!
Since they hit our TV screens in XFactor 2009, Jedward have made a name for themselves. Whether that is a good or a bad thing is largely irrelevant. Everyone in Ireland and the UK know who they are and besides, as the saying goes, there's no such thing as bad publicity. That's a lie, there is!
Who can ever forget, no matter how hard we try, those XFactor performances? Oh, the hilarity! How we laughed! At home, at work and at play on Social Media sites etc! And how some people cruelly mocked them. They are only young lads but they did put themselves out there at the public's mercy and the public, frustrated as they were at the good acts who were displaced by them week after week, showed them no mercy at all.
Some said that this duo, as that old ad goes, 'can't sing, look awful and will go a long way.' In reality they really can't sing, they look quite good actually and they are indeed going places!They
Mock as you will but can anyone remember who actually won XFactor in 2009? It was Joe McElderry. Where is he now? Is he out there performing, entertaining? He is indeed, per his website but it seems very low key to me. Meanwhile The bould Jedward are out there working their asses off with ahem their own unique style of entertainment!
They've had TV appearances on The Late Late Show plus their unforgettable appeance on Vincent Browne's very first Friday Late Show. For foreign readers the former is a weekly chat show and the latter is a lighter by-product of a 5 nightly Current Affairs programme! We all laughed so much when we heard they were to be one of his first guests! What is he thinking? I'm sure he wondered too...after the event. It was absolutely hilarious. Best TV ever... especially when watched via the twitter stream! Very entertaining as they tripped up over questions and started throwing cushions at their bewildered host....cue ad break! It may have been entertaining for all the wrong reasons but it was entertaining. In fact it was by far the most entertaining episode of that show to date, in my opinion.
They talked about their preparations for the Eurovision and trotted out their usual lines of how they're gonna stay focused and it'll be amazing and awesome .....groan! They also said that were going to drink water, eat fruit, go to bed early and give loads of interviews. They always make time for their fans too. Irritating? Annoying? Or perhaps ..... surprisingly good role models for teens to aspire to? There are worse they could emulate, you know ;-)
They are well ensconced in Dusseldorf now and are busy with rehearsals and giving interviews in preparation for their Eurovision performance this week. Thier first interview was in Russian... like I say, God help the interpreters! There is some relef for the beleagured interpreters though as it is reported that Jedward have been banned from speaking due to John's vocal issues.
I watched a video of one of their interviews, all 20 minutes of it... for research purposes only, doncha know. Initially it's hard to know who's hosting the interview as they have total control. They're bright eyed and bushy tailed, polite, obliging and funny. Well, everyone's laughing anyway. At them or with them, it's hard to tell! They conclude by very obligingly giving an unaccompanied rendition of their Eurovision entry song. All of it! And yeah... I did say unaccompanied! Eeek...
When their song was initially chosen to represent us it was greeted with the usual mixture of euphoria by the few versus incredulity and annoyance by many.
My first tweet on the event read: We once sent one Turkey to represent us, now we're sending two!
We may laugh and mock them all we like but I am seeing Jedward in another light these days. These two 'Turkeys' are two very astute young men who are genuinely focused on their goals (all that Athletic Training and competetive edge coming into play) and are no doubt laughing right back at us.... all the way to the bank. At least, I hope they are! They are no doubt taking Europe by storm!
Ireland has won The Eurovision 7 times but due to bloc voting we will never win again. We could strip naked, perform amazing dance routines or (as Mr Jazzy says) dig Elvis Presley himself up and it would make absolutely no difference! The only chance we have is to annually, enmasse, take a weekend break in specific European countries at Eurovision time and vote from there! Perhaps this year Ireland's emigration woes, together with last year's voting changes, may have a positive impact!
Is winning Eurovision a positive thing though? Who in Europe, apart from our emigrees, will vote for poor beleagured Ireland? Or maybe allowing us to win would be Europe's revenge on us for sending them Jedward! They could gleefully rub their hands thinking of another over-charged bail-out they could force upon us to help us host next year's extravaganza!
If internet searches are anything to go by then by this report they could be favourite to win. Elsewhere there are a lot of conflicting reports and the reported favourites change! I haven't seen any other acts as I'm waiting for the semi-finals.
First things first, Jedward have to get through to the Final on Saturday 14th May and after checking out a video of their second Eurovision rehearsal it's evident that they have some way to go vocally! Bad pitch...bad! I do hope they get it together for Thursday's semi-Final. Boys, just perform it like you did for Euro-Song.
Oh, I love the spectacle, cheesiness and downright clutziness Of Eurovision! I'll be tuned in watching, laughing and enjoying. We're a strange nation you know, us Irish. We're a nation of begrudgers, so they say. No matter what though, we're Irish and I reckon there'll be lots of us secretly flying the flag and hoping they do well, whilst slagging them off on twitter etc. You know I'm right!
Jedward will perform (note I didn't say sing!) their entry 'Lipstick' in this Thursday's semi-final. Here it is and I warn you................
It is incredibly, irritatingly, annoyingly...... addictive and you won't be able to get it out of your head. For days!! A sign of a true Eurovision song!
I look forward to the Semi Final and to Saturday's final. I do hope they get through. The competition will be all the more entertaining because of them!
And when all is said and done, that's what it's ALL about..... ENTERTAINMENT!
(I can't believe I just said that!!)
See you on the twitter machine and on facebook. Where the real entaertainment will be :-)