The Decision Has Been Made....


I recently mentioned that I'd applied for  a continuation of my career break due to extenuating circumstances. I submitted a very detailed letter outlining said extenuating circumstances. Somewhat on the lines of my Dear Hubby post.... but with way more detail.

I've become very good at writing long letters of applications over my six year hiatus. It would be a hard hearted official who could say no to me. And besides I wasn't looking for anything that would cost, rather I was applying for something that would save costs. Theirs... not mine!

I received a reply last week. A successful one! I have successfully wangled myself another two years!! This brings us to November 2012 at which point WiiBoy will be hopefully settling into a new Secondary School. With an expected delay in an available post for me I could well get WiiBoy through his First year, or most of it.

This is wonderful news and I'm delighted and relieved to know that I will be available to continue my ongoing work here.

 To me the Celtic Tiger Years didn't allow me change my house to a mansion or my car to a SUV. It allowed me go on a career break to carry out the most important job of my life..... Looking after WiiBoy and working my ass off to get him to where he is today. And for that we are truly grateful.

As some of you regular readers will know my career break started very suddenly. We had WiiBoy's diagnosis in December 2003. It took a while to get our heads around it and to decide best options for him. When the appropriate placement became available it was suddenly imperative that I take time off work. I was gone within two weeks. Just like that. Annual Leave, unpaid Parental Leave and my job-sharing weeks off allowed some breathing space to attend to the necessary  paper work.

Now, here's something that I have never revealed in these rambling blog posts of mine....... I didn't know whether or not I could cope being at home all day with my son. How awful is that?

In fairness things were extremely difficult. We really were at crisis point. I honestly thought, exhausting as it was going to work every second week, it was my break from the difficulties at home. Dear God....how on earth did I ever believe that? I was exhausted. I had a maximum of three hours sleep every night. I was attending intensive Audit Training courses over the previous two years and had to study for exams.I also had to try and fit in numerous SLT and OT appointments. I would leave the house every working day having dealt with serious meltdowns and screaming and return home to the very same situation.

I was reluctant to give up my job. If I could have done mornings only I would have but his special school time slot was from 12 until 2.30 so it was impossible. So I made the only decision I could and took the time off.

And what a difference it made. Of course it didn't take long for me to realise how much my going to work and changing WiiBoy's environment by leaving him with our childminder impacted on his behaviours. The poor child! Now don't get me wrong, it was still difficult but I didn't have the added stresses of going out to work and before long we were all getting a nights sleep AND WiiBoy started eating within a few short months!

So, it's been great, wonderful and I don't want it to end. And now it won't, well not for another two years!

But then something strange happened.....


 Today Mr Jazzy and I had to go to a funeral and then on to a very successful IEP meeting (you know it's successful when it's a short one!) We parked at his office and on the way back we decided to go for a quick cuppa in his work canteen. Is it sad that today's outing almost qualified as a date?? Anyway we went into the canteen and the strangest feeling came over me. As we both work for the same organisation there was a chance I'd meet someone I used to work with. I didn't as it happened but I looked at all the people as they came in and it all came back to me. Everyone sitting in their groups having their lunchtime chats.....the group of women leaving with their bulging lever arch files after their working lunch meeting. I then imagined their office, the work they'd been doing and their families at home. Oh and when I went into the bathroom I very strangely remembered all the times we'd do the make-up etc before heading to the pub on a Friday after work or for the Christmas night out.

It was so surreal, truly it was. I felt it in the pit of my tummy. I can't find words to describe it. It was like a sick, sinking feeling, but it wasn't quite that? A yearning feeling maybe??

Or perhaps I'm just remembering how it used to be.... a dose of good ole' Nostalgia! It was a huge part of my life for so long. I did my growing up there and made some good friends over the years!

I'm not for one minute yearning to go back, really, I'm not. But I wouldn't rule out my return in two years time.

Right now I am so happy to remain at home with my wonderous WiiBoy for another two years.

I am very happy with the decision that has been made.

And besides, I had my own bulging lever-arch file in the car for our meeting that would rival theirs any day of the week ;-)

So there!

xx Jazzy

18 comments:

  1. Great read and so happy for you that you got what you hoped for. Enjoy every precious moment of the next two years.

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  2. Congratulations on your successful reply! I'm so happy for you that you've been granted a continuation of your time with WiiBoy.

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  3. This is very good news indeed!

    And I kind of get what you are saying about visiting the "old place" - as you said, it's part of your growing up years, and it's bound to be bittersweet...

    Big congratulation hug from me to you!

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  4. Well I was delighted to read this as I agonise regularly about not being at work and people are always asking me if I've got a job yet. An I have to explain that while I would love to go back to work, I can only take a part-time job as I can't let the children suffer and there are very few part tim jobs in my field! I'm trying to create my own job, but it will take time. Thanks for making me feel better Jazzy and enjoy the next two years xx

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  5. Congrat's Jazzy & family. Brilliantly written as always !

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  6. Great news Jazzy, delighted for you :D Hopefully we can fit in a lot of coffee mornings over the next 2-3 years :D Jen

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  7. That's fabulous Jazzy!! Just wonderful...sigh..I know that looking back feeling..and yeah..I don't always know if it is remorse or relief..I do know that I was lucky enough to stay home and that has made all the difference. ..oh and it is a good thing that you don't have a mansion...think of all the cleaning..:) Lovely post-as always..:)

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  8. Delighted for you, Jazzy! I've been working part-time for 2 years (luckily, I can do this in the mornings) and I am soo familiar with this sinking feeling! The days when I am rushing home just when everybody is gathering in the common room for lunch... Enjoy your next 2 years!

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  9. I am very happy for you! (Although I don't really understand the context of writing a letter, but don't need to know either.)

    We married later than most and before children, as we observed other families with two-full-time-employed parents. The lifestyle did not appeal to us. So we have always lived on one income. As our youngest is in the last year of secondary school, we are on the brink of having two incomes again.

    I do get what you mean by that feeling in coffee-break room. Hubby was a househusband for 11 years and I have been the 'primary parent at home' (our term) for the past 6 (earning part-time). Wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, that's more than you wanted to know from me for sure. Out here. Barbara

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  10. Congrats on the extra two years..yay! I so share your feelings about work. I get a pit in my stomach at the thought of it...not sure if it's anxiety or yearning. Probably a little of both. I've been home for almost 6 years and there's a part of me that wonders if I would be able to do a job again. Has autism killed all of my brain cells? Can I work on anything non-autism related? I'll find out someday...

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  11. @SARAH: Thank you, I intend to!

    @TANYA: Thanks...yes, it's fantastic news!

    @NAN P: yes, Bittersweet is a good word to describe hoW I felt! Thanks for the hug!!

    @BLUE SKY: When you are working it is very hard to imagine what life is like for someone "stuck" at home...as they might see it. A work pal of mine went on a career break a good few years before me. I could never understand why she chose to resign rather than return to work when her time was up...she couldn't extend ;-) Now of course I totally get it!! rest assured that the job you are doing now Blue Sky is of the utmost importance. And I hope your plans work out.

    @NOEL: Thanks so much for your generous comment!

    @JENCULL: Oh yeah....coffee mornings are very much on the agenda!!

    @KATHLEEN: Yes, we are very lucky mamas indeed :-)I too am grateful I don't have a mansion. I am very happy with my lot!!

    @TRUF: And they have no idea...do they? No doubt thinking..there she goes...lucky her finished work for the day!! If only..your real job starts when you get home!!

    @THEREXTRAS: Sure that's what blogging is all about. ood to find out about others lives too! So thanks for sharing. I am so glad that I discovered this lifestyle... it's one that suits us very much.

    @LYNN: Aha...I have my theory on that you know. Autism does NOT kill our brain cells. I look at the extra skills I've learned because Autism came into my life. Never under estimate the power of Blogging and FaceTweeting:-) 'm more computer literate now than six years ago due to Autism and a career break!!

    Thank you all for your comments :-)

    xx Jazzy

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  12. The relief when you make a decision like this is huge! I absolutely loved my job (which I did for 10 years) but don't regret giving it up for a moment. I'm not in a position to even think about returning yet, but luckily I don't feel the urge to.
    It's really great that you can take the option of an extended career break. Clever employers. They want to hold onto the good stuff XXX

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  13. terrific news for you and your family. sounds like you got just what you wanted. awesome.
    there are days that I miss the office life, and then I realize I just couldn't do that life anymore. If (when?) I go back to work, it will just have to be different.
    thanks for sharing your thought journey with us.
    alysia

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  14. I am happy for you that you got the next two years granted to you and you know that it will fly by even if you do have a touch of nostalgia. You are an awesome mum, YOU ARE! And don't you even worry about the time that you thought that you couldn't stay home with him, lots of mums go through that. Big hugs to you!!!!

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  15. Great thing about private sector jobs is if you leave them, that's it!

    My previous boss went broke and had to go hide on the North Coast (tax avoidance catches up with you that way) so won't be working with him again.

    But as they say - when one door closes, the bang might cause another to open a little- and it's up to you to squeeze through. Who knows what's possible then ?

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  16. @JEAN: Thanks Jeanie! And yes, it is a relief.

    @TRYDEFYINGGRAVITY: yes, it is the right decision for us and I agree.... if I go back eventually it will be different. It will have to work around our family life. And I don't have to back to the Government institution. I could work work locally or re-invent myself!!. I would have no problems in adapting :-)

    @LORA: Thanks Lora for your very kind words!

    @HAMMIE: Totally agree hammie.... I am totally open to re-invention as you know ;-)

    I am very lucky to have been afforded the career break and the extended one is not an easy one to wangle believe me. There were cases of tax fraud over the years in my job too. People actually went to jail for it.... including somebody I worked with for years. Who subsequently opened his own Accountancy business!!!

    Only in Ireland...eh?!!

    xx Jazzy

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  17. I also didnt regret giving up work for C and it certainly did make a difference :)

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  18. @CASDOK: It really does make difference, doesn't it? So glad you were happy with your decision too. Thanks for comment :-)

    xx Jazzy

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